[Movie Review] Your Highness

One wonders why Dave Chappelle wasn’t in this movie. Then you sit through it and you find out why…

Once again looking back on the Cowboys & Aliens/John Carter of Mars comparison I made, I look at Your Highness and Knights of Badassdom and have to breath a sigh of relief since I’ve read the script for Knights and it was good stuff.
Your Highness, simply put, cannot be saved. Even Natalie Portman’s g-string cannot save this movie. I cannot believe people paid good money to see this movie.
Your Highness is a Medieval Romcom about two brothers, Fabious played by James Franco, the apple of his father’s eye, the other, Thadious played by Danny McBride, the stoner, on the eve of Fabious’s wedding to a princess that’s been locked away in a tall tall tower for too long, Belladonna played by Zooey Daschanel but an evil wizard, Leezar played by Justin Theroux steals Belladonna to complete some sort of end of the world prophecy. The sons and other knights not appearing in the trailer like poorly used Damian Lewis set off to find Belladonna and kill Leezar.
What could possibly go wrong?
Stoner comedy + Dick Jokes + sorta Princess Bride-themed story = It should work.
It don’t. Even the Dick Jokes just limp along. What? Yes, I went there.
With the amount of movies Natalie Portman has been in, this should have been a great movie since she’s actually kicking ass instead of Black Swan, Thor, No Strings Attached-type of character.
The only thing it was good for was adding A Dropkick Murphys’ song into my playlist.
Avoid at all costs.